Why We Follow Their Lead: A Parent’s Perspective on Child-Led Therapy
- Mary Coburn, M.A., CCC-SLP
- Jun 15
- 3 min read
At Whole Child, we believe the most meaningful progress happens when a child feels safe, seen, and heard, not when they’re pushed to perform. I’ve seen this firsthand as both a provider and a parent to a neurodivergent child. For us, therapy didn’t start working until we stopped trying to make it look like "work".
That’s why we take a child-led approach which is centered on the belief that children grow and learn best when we follow their lead, rather than trying to fit them into a mold they didn’t choose or even belong in.
What Is Child-Led Therapy?
Child-led therapy is exactly what it sounds like, therapy that starts with the child.
Rather than leading with strict goals and agendas, it’s rooted in relationship, trust, and responsiveness. It means honoring a child’s sensory needs, communication style, and natural curiosity. It means slowing down, observing, listening closely, and being willing to let go of expectations that does not serve the child in front of us.
This kind of approach isn’t just “nice”, it’s necessary for many children, especially those who are neurodivergent, have experienced trauma, or don’t thrive in rigid, compliance-based models.
Why It Works (And Why We Needed It)
As a parent, I watched my son struggle across settings where tasks felt more like performance. When he tried to advocate for himself, especially when something felt too hard, too fast, or just wrong, it was often seen as non-compliance or “bad behavior.” That judgment didn’t stop with him as it landed on me, too. I was made to feel like a bad parent because he didn’t "follow directions" or do what was asked of him.
Masking was never easy for him. He externalized his frustration, and instead of being met with curiosity or support, he was often misunderstood. Over time, it chipped away at his self-confidence. He began to feel defeated and eventually described himself as “being stupid.” He didn’t just shut down, he began refusing. Refusing to go to school, refusing to engage in anything that felt overwhelming or demand-heavy. It became clear that the environments he was in, such as school and therapy, weren’t honoring his strengths, preferences, or the way he naturally learns.
That’s when we knew something had to change. We sought out settings that truly supported kids like my son, where self-exploration, flexibility, and felt-safety weren’t just allowed but encouraged. When we embraced a child-led approach, everything shifted. He started to feel trust again, not just in the people around him, but in himself.
As a provider, I’ve learned that this model isn’t about lowering expectations. It’s about meeting a child where they are, so they can rise with support, not pressure.
What It Looks Like
Child-led therapy might not always look “clinical,” but it is deeply therapeutic. It might look like:
Getting down on the floor and entering the child’s world of play
Following a special interest like bugs, trains, or video games which in turn helps to support language, regulation, or connection
Allowing space for sensory play, quiet moments, or movement breaks
Building on what the child loves and can do, rather than fixing what they “should” do
Instead of correcting or redirecting, we gently scaffold from their strengths by offering support when they’re open and ready, not before.
More Than a Method—It’s a Mindset
Child-led therapy is not about letting kids "do whatever they want.” It’s about respecting their autonomy and trusting their internal cues. It’s a mindset rooted in curiosity, compassion, and connection.
We don’t see children as problems to fix, we should see them as people to connect with. Remembering that they are after all just kids and they should not be held to the same standards as adults, which is often times somethings we as adults forget. Their little brains are still developing and not always at the same rate as their peers. We should honor and recognize that difference.
What We Offer at Whole Child
We offer:
A safe space for children and parents to be themselves and to establish connections so that learning can be natural and fun.
Neurodiversity-affirming speech, occupational, feeding therapy, and parent coaching
Child-led, strengths-based, relational support that respects the whole child
Collaborative care with families, schools, and other providers
A values-driven approach that prioritizes trust over compliance
Whether you're a parent seeking support or a provider hoping to practice differently, we’d love to apart of you and your child's journey!
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